Monday, December 12, 2005
When it all comes down...
It's so easy to tell people about the dark times of the soul...how it's coming for everyone and that in those times you need to have faith. But what happens when you're the one actually facing it? What happens when things are stripped from you? In those moments you feel as though someone is squeezing your poor little heart until you can't stand it anymore. It's the worst when one thing goes wrong...and then a billion other things just so happen to blow up too. Your heart feels so heavy and you really don't know what to do. I think in those times, those times in the desert, that's where our faith is seen. I think faith and trust shines most bright when everything around us crumbles and we trust not in what we have but we hope and trust when everything is taken from us. And don't get me wrong...it is never fun being there yourself. But it is in those times when true joy is found. Why? Because we hold on to something bigger than us. We trust in a God that has sustained us from the very beginning and is continuing to mold and shape us unto himself.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
like a balloon gone flat...
i think we've all experienced the deflation of spirituality one way or another. Like sometimes it feels so good and things are going great but we trip somewhere and we're back at the bottom again. Maybe i'm being a little too vague huh? I think for myself there are times when my walk, according to my standards, is going great...i mean i'm engaging God everywhere i go, when i dig and read the Word things actually speak to me. But there are those times when God seems so far away...where i can recite all the little antidotes you want about God and his love and whatever...but if you were to ask me how i felt, man...i'd probably tell you "i know it all in my mind...but ain't got nuttin' in my heart". But i don't think that's not just me huh? I think at times we're all there. We can talk a good game but deep inside we know that surely God can't be real. Surely God doesn't love me...does He know all the things i've done...the things i've thought? And just like that we begin to drift. It's never a sharp pull away from God's presence...it's more of a gradual inching away from "knowing and walking deep" with Him (whatever that means right?)
But hey, let's be honest...we have all felt this way one point in our lives right? But we come to church fridays, wednesdays, sundays...and again we talk a good game and never really be honest with each other. Man it's frustrating isn't it? And this is just with our own personal relationship...not to mention looking at everyone else. But the good news is that God doesn't despise those who are a little messed up...He doesn't ignore those who are hurting...and that's the good news. He doesn't expect us to fix ourselves...especially when we feel like we've hit rock bottom. He just says "come"...all you who are weary and tired "come" and i'll give you rest. It's what so great about the good news.
But hey, let's be honest...we have all felt this way one point in our lives right? But we come to church fridays, wednesdays, sundays...and again we talk a good game and never really be honest with each other. Man it's frustrating isn't it? And this is just with our own personal relationship...not to mention looking at everyone else. But the good news is that God doesn't despise those who are a little messed up...He doesn't ignore those who are hurting...and that's the good news. He doesn't expect us to fix ourselves...especially when we feel like we've hit rock bottom. He just says "come"...all you who are weary and tired "come" and i'll give you rest. It's what so great about the good news.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
an email to a teen
I hope you don't mind me e-mailing you. Some emails ended up in my hand and it was quite intriguing to read and i felt the need to respond. I hope you don't mind.
First off, i want you to know that you and i come from very similar backgrounds...i mean, we have both been at church all our lives and heard the same things over and over and over again. We've seen the monotony of church life and church folk and yeah, we both feel like somehow...things are just kinda fabricated. I mean, everyone can't always be "fine" right? Surely there's someone nicked up somewhere that's pretending to be all good. But i gotta ask myself...ok, so these people are fake...so what? What does this person being fake have to do with me? Doesn't God say to love our neighbor?...ok, but who's my neighbor? well...i think in Luke 10 Jesus says our neighbor is the samaritan - our enemies...hey, maybe even that hypocrite at church. I know and have experienced it all myself ...and some things i can't explain - why people are the way they are, but i'd have to say...you can't judge God by people.
Hey...i can tell you about how you should do this and do that in order to "get close" to God...i mean, really...i can. But you know what? i'd totally be setting you up for failure. Do you find yourself trapped some times? Like you want to really know God and experience Him the way other people experience and know him..but you're just not there? And so we try and try to work ourself to that place...we read more ofthe Bible, and do more quiet times...but in the end we dont' feel any closer than when we first started. So you find yourself wanted to give up? My real advice would be just that...give up. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask you to do it yourself...He doesn't want you to clean yourself up before you go to him...he just says come all you who are weary, who are tired...andi'll give you rest. That's the good news man...not that we have to fix ourselves...but we just come as we are.
i know you're feeling that God has abandoned you...or maybe you're even questioning if he's real or not. And i won't argue apologetics with you...but simply ask you, how is that type of life treating you? how is it trying to fix everything yourself and searching for something to fill that void? ecclessiates 3:11 says God has put that void in there so that you might know him. And hey, can i be honest with you? it's more than just salvation...it's more than just sunday school and church...what's at stake is your joy man. Maybe you need to be honest with God right now...tell him youre angry...tell him about your doubts.
Maybe tonight, you'll find freedom in knowing you can'tdo anything...and He does it all. Ask him to be real in your life...it's sorta of like the ganduer of the grand canyon...words and pictures don't do i j ustice, you'd have to experience it for yourself. And that's what i'm asking you to join me in...this crazy, painful, wonderful life...
First off, i want you to know that you and i come from very similar backgrounds...i mean, we have both been at church all our lives and heard the same things over and over and over again. We've seen the monotony of church life and church folk and yeah, we both feel like somehow...things are just kinda fabricated. I mean, everyone can't always be "fine" right? Surely there's someone nicked up somewhere that's pretending to be all good. But i gotta ask myself...ok, so these people are fake...so what? What does this person being fake have to do with me? Doesn't God say to love our neighbor?...ok, but who's my neighbor? well...i think in Luke 10 Jesus says our neighbor is the samaritan - our enemies...hey, maybe even that hypocrite at church. I know and have experienced it all myself ...and some things i can't explain - why people are the way they are, but i'd have to say...you can't judge God by people.
Hey...i can tell you about how you should do this and do that in order to "get close" to God...i mean, really...i can. But you know what? i'd totally be setting you up for failure. Do you find yourself trapped some times? Like you want to really know God and experience Him the way other people experience and know him..but you're just not there? And so we try and try to work ourself to that place...we read more ofthe Bible, and do more quiet times...but in the end we dont' feel any closer than when we first started. So you find yourself wanted to give up? My real advice would be just that...give up. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask you to do it yourself...He doesn't want you to clean yourself up before you go to him...he just says come all you who are weary, who are tired...andi'll give you rest. That's the good news man...not that we have to fix ourselves...but we just come as we are.
i know you're feeling that God has abandoned you...or maybe you're even questioning if he's real or not. And i won't argue apologetics with you...but simply ask you, how is that type of life treating you? how is it trying to fix everything yourself and searching for something to fill that void? ecclessiates 3:11 says God has put that void in there so that you might know him. And hey, can i be honest with you? it's more than just salvation...it's more than just sunday school and church...what's at stake is your joy man. Maybe you need to be honest with God right now...tell him youre angry...tell him about your doubts.
Maybe tonight, you'll find freedom in knowing you can'tdo anything...and He does it all. Ask him to be real in your life...it's sorta of like the ganduer of the grand canyon...words and pictures don't do i j ustice, you'd have to experience it for yourself. And that's what i'm asking you to join me in...this crazy, painful, wonderful life...
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
high-five for spring break
i'm going to Matamoros, Mexico from March 12 to the 18th for my spring break. I'm actually going with EvFree's Echo college ministry from Austin. I'm not really sure what to expect or actually what we'll be doing...just something about construction and day camps for children. But i'm a little excited, a little worried.
if you could remember me and my group going in your prayers: 1) they have me leading a small group. I have no idea who is going on this trip except for one good friend of mine...but other than that, i have no clue who's going. And it was funny that they chose me to be a leader since i don't go to the fellowship nor do i go the UT. Just pray that i'm able challenge my group and be what a leader is suppose to be. 2) there's been some pretty major disturbances around that area. I found this article from worldnews.com
"This year's worries have arisen because at least 27 U.S. citizens have vanished since August while visiting three Mexican border cities including Matamoros as a war between drug cartels for control of the cross-border trade in marijuana and cocaine has escalated."
"The bodies of three men who had been blindfolded and shot in the head were found Wednesday in a pickup truck abandoned along a highway near the U.S-Mexico border, police said."
if you could just pray for our safety while we're there, traveling in and out of mexico, and for the health of our team. 3) i'll be driving from Arlington to Austin around midnight that friday and driving back from Austin to Arlington the next Friday...and i tend to get sleepy on the road. Just pray that i'll make it back ok. And feel free to call me to keep me up. Thanks you guys.
if you could remember me and my group going in your prayers: 1) they have me leading a small group. I have no idea who is going on this trip except for one good friend of mine...but other than that, i have no clue who's going. And it was funny that they chose me to be a leader since i don't go to the fellowship nor do i go the UT. Just pray that i'm able challenge my group and be what a leader is suppose to be. 2) there's been some pretty major disturbances around that area. I found this article from worldnews.com
"This year's worries have arisen because at least 27 U.S. citizens have vanished since August while visiting three Mexican border cities including Matamoros as a war between drug cartels for control of the cross-border trade in marijuana and cocaine has escalated."
"The bodies of three men who had been blindfolded and shot in the head were found Wednesday in a pickup truck abandoned along a highway near the U.S-Mexico border, police said."
if you could just pray for our safety while we're there, traveling in and out of mexico, and for the health of our team. 3) i'll be driving from Arlington to Austin around midnight that friday and driving back from Austin to Arlington the next Friday...and i tend to get sleepy on the road. Just pray that i'll make it back ok. And feel free to call me to keep me up. Thanks you guys.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
The problem with rocks
Some puzzles concerning God's omnipotence: Mavrodes
Have you heard some one ask the theological/philosophical question about the super heavy stone arguing against God being all powerful? It goes something like this: Can God create a stone too heavy for him to lift?
if you answer yes: then you can conclude that there is such a stone that God cannot lift. Therefore God is not omnipotent.
if you answer no: then you say that God can't create such a stone which means he's not onmipotent in the first place.
Mavrode's Solution: The 'power to sin' is not really a power at all. Even as God cannot sin because he is omnipotent, so he cannot make a stone because he is omnipotent. I believe in class it was illustrated like this: If this statment were true "i couldn't lose in a battle" this statment would be exalting my own power and attributing a lack of power of my enemies. Likewise, the "power to sin" or "power to create such a stone" is a weakness rather than a power.
Anthony Kenny: The 'power to sin' is a power, but it would be contradictory for God to have it (would contradict his holiness). Likewise, the 'power to create an unliftable stone' is a power, but it would be contradictory for God to have it (contradicts his immutability).
Richard Swinburne: 'Cannot sin' is said in reference to God's will, not in reference to God's power. God can sin (in reference to his power), but he would never choose to sin. Similarly, God can make a stone, but he would never choose to make the stone (and so deprive himself of omnipotence)
*philosophy of religion: swbts
Have you heard some one ask the theological/philosophical question about the super heavy stone arguing against God being all powerful? It goes something like this: Can God create a stone too heavy for him to lift?
if you answer yes: then you can conclude that there is such a stone that God cannot lift. Therefore God is not omnipotent.
if you answer no: then you say that God can't create such a stone which means he's not onmipotent in the first place.
Mavrode's Solution: The 'power to sin' is not really a power at all. Even as God cannot sin because he is omnipotent, so he cannot make a stone because he is omnipotent. I believe in class it was illustrated like this: If this statment were true "i couldn't lose in a battle" this statment would be exalting my own power and attributing a lack of power of my enemies. Likewise, the "power to sin" or "power to create such a stone" is a weakness rather than a power.
Anthony Kenny: The 'power to sin' is a power, but it would be contradictory for God to have it (would contradict his holiness). Likewise, the 'power to create an unliftable stone' is a power, but it would be contradictory for God to have it (contradicts his immutability).
Richard Swinburne: 'Cannot sin' is said in reference to God's will, not in reference to God's power. God can sin (in reference to his power), but he would never choose to sin. Similarly, God can make a stone, but he would never choose to make the stone (and so deprive himself of omnipotence)
*philosophy of religion: swbts
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Language: univocal, equivocal?
Every week at the seminary we're required to attend small groups as part of our spiritual formations class. And in my group it's me and 5 older guys. So we talk about life and our families and kids and whatever...but it got me thinkin'. How amazingly strange it is for me to sit down with people from all over the country, some even twice my age with kids and a family, and yet they share their personal problems with me? I mean...there is no where else in the world that this kind of thing would ever take place.
But something happened today that made me extremely sad. We have a guy in our small group from Korea and he's a first year student with a wife and a daughter. And i'll never forget what he said today in our small group. He said, "i - i don't know much...i don't know what the speaker was talking about...but i know God was good...i wish i could understand better". I couldn't help but to hurt for that guy. I mean, here he is wanting with all his might to understand the word of God and what the sermon is about but can't. So he just sits there and looks around as people are responding joyfully to the words of the pastor...and he doesn't understand. It's ironic though that he wants it so bad...and i usually sit back and take my understanding of english for granted. I mean...taking english...for granted. Now that's a thought. He asked us to pray for him that he might be able to understand the english language quicker. I will do that.
But something happened today that made me extremely sad. We have a guy in our small group from Korea and he's a first year student with a wife and a daughter. And i'll never forget what he said today in our small group. He said, "i - i don't know much...i don't know what the speaker was talking about...but i know God was good...i wish i could understand better". I couldn't help but to hurt for that guy. I mean, here he is wanting with all his might to understand the word of God and what the sermon is about but can't. So he just sits there and looks around as people are responding joyfully to the words of the pastor...and he doesn't understand. It's ironic though that he wants it so bad...and i usually sit back and take my understanding of english for granted. I mean...taking english...for granted. Now that's a thought. He asked us to pray for him that he might be able to understand the english language quicker. I will do that.
Friday, February 25, 2005
the problem of evil: middle schoolers worst nightmare
the problem of evil: i think as many times as we answer it or discuss it...the problem of evil will always be around to stir the waters. I had a chance to sit down and chat with some friends tonight about evil and the two dominating questions of the night were "where was God when blank happened?" and "why does God allow evil to exist?" and i had the feeling where you're sitting there with all this stuff in your mind but when it's your turn to speak it's time to go...you know what i'm talking about? It's a struggle to answer it isn't it? because it's so real and it's right there...no wonder middle schoolers (and perhaps even you and i) have problems with it...well...i just wanted to attempt to throw out my thoughts on it.
to answer the first question, i'd have to give you a statistics on planes: research shows the likelihood of a plane crumbling down from the sky is about 1 in 6.3 million. Which in turn means that there's like 6 million other planes that take off and land safely every single day. But where are the praises for that? When do we thank God for something like that? But you have one plane crash and you see people unravel and ask "where's God now?" But that doesn't really address the problem of evil though...
so why in the world does God allow evil to exist? if people have free will (theologians, let's say we do for arugment sake) then they essentially have the power to do whatever they please am i right? they have the potential to do so much good in the world but also they have the potential to commit all the evil they would want too. It comes with the territory of free will. I've heard it best like this: Hilter had the same potential, the power, the prestige, the knowledge (just as Mother Theresa did) to do so much good in his life...but instead chose to use his power in another way and bam! Holocaust! You see...you and i are no different. We are given the free will to choose.
so why didin't God just get rid of evil in the first place so we didn't have to choose evil? or why didn't God just have everyone love him anyways? well...i think in our fabricated love, if we were not free, would not bring glory to God. I don't think God is glorified in our begrudging submission; much like a wife isn't glorified in her husband saying "well i bought you these flowers because i had to and i didn't want you to get mad at me" i mean...there's no glory in that. that's not romantic. Much like that doesn't bring the wife any glory...God isn't glorified in us having to love him. There's something so much deeper when we love God for who he is and what He did rather than us loving God because we have to.
i'll end on this note...for those that are struggling with the problem of evil and at times get so angry with God and his plans...you can rail against him and demand an answer from Him...you can, but "the key to living life...the key to knowing the deepest wells of hope and joy are not found when all is well....they are found when we trust when all is wrong".
to answer the first question, i'd have to give you a statistics on planes: research shows the likelihood of a plane crumbling down from the sky is about 1 in 6.3 million. Which in turn means that there's like 6 million other planes that take off and land safely every single day. But where are the praises for that? When do we thank God for something like that? But you have one plane crash and you see people unravel and ask "where's God now?" But that doesn't really address the problem of evil though...
so why in the world does God allow evil to exist? if people have free will (theologians, let's say we do for arugment sake) then they essentially have the power to do whatever they please am i right? they have the potential to do so much good in the world but also they have the potential to commit all the evil they would want too. It comes with the territory of free will. I've heard it best like this: Hilter had the same potential, the power, the prestige, the knowledge (just as Mother Theresa did) to do so much good in his life...but instead chose to use his power in another way and bam! Holocaust! You see...you and i are no different. We are given the free will to choose.
so why didin't God just get rid of evil in the first place so we didn't have to choose evil? or why didn't God just have everyone love him anyways? well...i think in our fabricated love, if we were not free, would not bring glory to God. I don't think God is glorified in our begrudging submission; much like a wife isn't glorified in her husband saying "well i bought you these flowers because i had to and i didn't want you to get mad at me" i mean...there's no glory in that. that's not romantic. Much like that doesn't bring the wife any glory...God isn't glorified in us having to love him. There's something so much deeper when we love God for who he is and what He did rather than us loving God because we have to.
i'll end on this note...for those that are struggling with the problem of evil and at times get so angry with God and his plans...you can rail against him and demand an answer from Him...you can, but "the key to living life...the key to knowing the deepest wells of hope and joy are not found when all is well....they are found when we trust when all is wrong".
seminary says "no alcohol"
it seems like another attempt to create something new, but just like the rest of them i'm running off the ideas of another person. Perhaps this is my resolution to actually start writing down thoughts on a more consistent basis...or perhaps not. I guess we'll find out in a couple of months. I think that's how long it takes right?
food: it was chocolate weekend awhile ago on Food Network and i couldn't pry myself away from the television. i watched and attempted to remember how that one italian lady made fudge. I can never remember her name...she kind of reminds me of natalie portman (i don' t know). anyways, so chocolate watching - fudge - cooking...i decided to try my hand at making tiramisu. I haven't made it yet, but a friend and i are going to try this saturday. I found several recipes for it - one calls for cream cheese and the other calls for mascarpone cheese. I have no idea what mascarpone cheese is and where to get it. I would guess central market? there's also different varieties in which you can make it - a cake or in a cup. I remember la madeline had theirs in a cup a long time ago and it was great. Things i need to get: lady fingers, cheese, and alcohol.
it's weird though, most recipes calls for a little bit of alcohol but i have to buy this bottle. What in the world am i going to do with the rest? it's not like i drink or anything...what's even funnier is that before i moved into this apartment complex, there was a "no alcohol clause" so there's a big guilt factor too. funny stuff.
food: it was chocolate weekend awhile ago on Food Network and i couldn't pry myself away from the television. i watched and attempted to remember how that one italian lady made fudge. I can never remember her name...she kind of reminds me of natalie portman (i don' t know). anyways, so chocolate watching - fudge - cooking...i decided to try my hand at making tiramisu. I haven't made it yet, but a friend and i are going to try this saturday. I found several recipes for it - one calls for cream cheese and the other calls for mascarpone cheese. I have no idea what mascarpone cheese is and where to get it. I would guess central market? there's also different varieties in which you can make it - a cake or in a cup. I remember la madeline had theirs in a cup a long time ago and it was great. Things i need to get: lady fingers, cheese, and alcohol.
it's weird though, most recipes calls for a little bit of alcohol but i have to buy this bottle. What in the world am i going to do with the rest? it's not like i drink or anything...what's even funnier is that before i moved into this apartment complex, there was a "no alcohol clause" so there's a big guilt factor too. funny stuff.
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