Doubting Me: When doubts cloud your faith

i think there are times in one's life when they're confronted with the question "what the crap do i believe?" honestly, i was just like you and i hadbeen doing this "religious" thing all my life until my junior yearin HS and i sat there and went "man...i honestly have no clue what i believe or why i do the things that i do". Because honestly, churchfelt like a whole bunch of rules and nonsense that was put onto us by bitter people that wanted us to act like them. So i went off and triedto figure out what i really believe - whether or not this whole "christian"thing was legit. And i'll tell you it took awhile until i found out an answer...like i went to ask a bunch of people why they believed what they believedand it's funny cuz most people themselves don't know. 

I probably came to a realization that eventually i'm going to die andthat there's probably some kind of judgment waiting for me...and i'mprobably screwed because of who i am and what i've done. And i realizedthat i'm further screwed because there's no way i could ever fix myselfand get "good enough". And that's when it hit me...that i'm not and iwon't ever be BUT Jesus actually died for me and for my place. An undeserved death that was meant for me he now bears on his shoulders. It's weird because i heard that message for a long time but never reallyunderstood what it meant. It took me a good time to understand it, andsome more time to believe it to be true. After that it took me evenmore time to decide that i was going to follow after this Jesus no matterwhat it took - that's why i'm doing what i do. 

So here's the thing. Eventually you're going to have to ask yourselfthose questions - what do you believe, why do you believe it, and whatdoes that mean for your life? It is ok to doubt...please, i think if youhaven't doubted then you really don't take your faith that seriously because you haven't really challenged yourself. But know this, I and manyothers are there for you on this journey so you dont have to walk it alone. Whatever you need please let me know.