I think one of the biggest things that I have had to learn early was the issue of foundations. I mean answering the question, "What is the reason why i'm doing what i'm doing?" I think how you answer that question is huge...just because after 3 weeks, 3 months..when things get routine and you don't see "progress" then what do you do? Do you move on? What happens when you don't see things changing? And when do you leave a dead end position and when do you tough it out?
What makes ministry all that much harder is the fact that it's more difficult to evaluate results. How do you go about evaluating a pastor? Is it based off of how many programs he has finished in a year? Is it how many people were "saved" that year? Is his ministry judged off the quality of small groups and discipleship? See it's hard. And esp. when you're not really sure what the job requirements are. But then you have what the church has as requirements for you...and then you have scripture's requirements for you (and hopefully those are one in the same).
But I do want to give you the reality of what it looks like after awhile. And ok, i know i'm young and it's only been 3 years and God will probably beat it out of me later (and i can't wait for that). But I don't want you to go in and just get completely blindsided with it all. And i think this can go for most anything...any project, any relationship, job, whatever. I think after leading for a bit, it gets routine and dry at times. You'll get tired. People will stop following you. You'll experience internal and external conflict. You'll feel like you're not being trained and equipped. You'll start seeing past sins and sins that have been stuffed start to come back to haunt you. The ones you are leading start to question your leadership and authority and then you begin to question your resolve to lead them.
So what do you do? Do you change everything up? Do you quit? Well, my friend, this goes back to our original question - "What are you doing this for? What's the goal?" If i can be honest...there are so many days that i wanted to quit not just this youth minister gig/call, but this whole "christian deal." Why? because it's easier to live the way that i want and it's so much easier to be the follower/bystander than to have the weight of leadership. But I always go back to the foundation.
A good foundation always comes from your understanding of theology. Who is God? What are we caught up in? What is true biblical theology and biblical conversion? So if God is true and God is sovereign and the Word of God is true...then the big questions of existence and purpose are answered. I exist to glorify God by enjoying him forever. While God controls all the details of the universe He knows me personally and intimately. And if God is the one who saved me and calls me...then my calling and place of leadership has been determined by him. Why is this so important? Because as a pastor...my "job requirement" is ultimately according to his standard. And if He is the one who saves people then all i can do is work hard and pray that He might be gracious to save right? So my job isn't to save people...and that is a great relief. Trust me...i'm not good at saving people. I mean, i can manipulate the mood and get people to feel guilty...but i don't see that anywhere in scripture. One of my mentors asked me before i took the job, "Would you still do this even if the youth group dropped down to 3 kids? Do you honestly believe that you'll do the same thing philosophically regardless of how many students you have?"
I ask myself these questions today. Why am I doing this? Because for the time being, God has gifted me with talents and opportunities and so until He makes it very clear that it is time for me to leave...i'll continue to work as hard as i can. Is it worth it? For me...i can't see anything else being more important. This is something that the world will never understand. Church is something that people go to on the weekends. Pastors are a dying breed. Well...if scripture is true and God is who He is, then i can't see anything else being more important.
So let me encourage you dear leaders to press on. The journey is harder than anyone told us it would be. The results are schizophrenic and bipolar. But if your foundation is truly based on the Gospel then remind yourself of the truths wrapped up in it. Remember, that your worth is NOT dependent on what you can produce as a leader. At the end of the day, you are still a sinner saved by grace, equipped by God the Holy Spirit, and we just play our parts well.
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